A life lived in fear is a life half lived

A short while ago, when I told my good friend Mr.C about my cross-dressing, he was very reasonable, but after some thought, he told me I should be very careful about who I shared this information was. I do not remember his exact phrase, but the warning was something along the lines of “some people may use this knowledge against you”.

I thought about this for a while and realised he was right. I have never engaged voluntarily in politics of any kind and I especially loathe office politics. Those who are politically astute rarely seem to spend much time doing productive work for the benefit of all, presumably because they’re too busy marketing their own brand within the organisation. However, since shutting my own company down, I have acknowledged that even if I don’t use politics actively within the company I work for, I must be astute enough at least to defend myself against others who will.

So I decided to carry out a pre-emptive stike against anyone who might try to use this information against me; I decided to tell my manager. I’ve known Mr.R for a long time now so I knew that he would either back me up completely, or if he had an issue with my cross-dressing he would have it out there and then. So, I told him, explaining that the information was in the public domain and several colleagues knew too, so it was more a question of WHEN the word spread rather than IF. I expained that it only represents a tiny portionm of my life and I will not allow it to imact on work in any way. Mr.R said fine, no problems! When Mr.C found out what I’d done he said it was a brave move. Not really brave, I just told truth told because I’m fed up hiding and I won’t live in fear anymore.

I have told many people now, and it seems as though perhaps the greatest problem to someone coming out of whatever closet they are trapped in is themselves. We are our own worst enemies. Obviously there are a few people out there who won’t handle the news well for whatever reason, but happily, it seems like they are in mthe miniority.

Well, Saturday is the big night for Penny. Meal out in London with about 30 other trannies and then clubbing! Preparations are nearly done, although I have singularly failed to get a bigger handbag instead of the stupid matchbox thing I have! I got a number of text messages from M today, and it’s obvious she’s getting very excited too.

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