Valentine’s day gift dilemma


With Valentine’s day looming, I went looking for lingerie, unusually not for myself but for D. The shop assistant was very sweet and was convinced that I would buy something racy. Sadly she does not know D like I know her. D would see this as a frivolous gift of utterly impractical clothing. Well, yes, I agree. I can see that a red, lace-trimmed basque with suspenders and stockings is entirely impractical as an item of everyday clothing to anyone but a hooker, but surely it would be serving the entirely practical purpose of putting some spice into our sex-life! The assistant’s enthusiasm didn’t rub off on me and I walked out without buying anything.

Is it wrong for me, after 13 years of marriage and 16 years together to want some variety in the bedroom? Perhaps I should be content with turning the lights out, a little bit of cuddling and then the usual routine. The trouble is, I’m just not made that way. Firstly, I’m a man, which means that my perception of the world is strongly driven by visual processing, so I want the light on. Secondly, I abhor routine and anything ‘basic’ when I could choose deviation (I use that word with caution) from the norm and extras.

Here’s an illustration of how different D and I are. Chips. How do you eat chips? When we get fish and chips or pie and chips, I put salt, and vinegar, and either ketchup or curry sauce or mayonnaise on my chips. D? Well, she just has plain chips with nothing added. I suppose that I am satisfying to her in the way that plain chips are also enough for her. Me? I’m looking forward to another 40 years of married life, but I could sure use some sauce.

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